Jadens Journey

It’s been quite some time since I’ve written anything… and there’s probably no one following us now, but here I am anyway.

The end of the semester is winding down now, I finished the tedium of putting together the final exams for my students today and submitted them to the copy center. Now it’s a matter of picking up the exams, administering them on Tuesday, and then grading (and grading, and grading…). Lately I have been the most disorganized (unorganized? anyone?) person on earth so I’m sure it is going to take me at least a week to gather all the little scraps of paper on which I’ve jotted down my notes on who deserves an A from Santa this year and who deserves a C (or worse). Grades are not due until after Christmas (thank goodness for little miracles) so I have a chance to take a deep breath and….

do all my Christmas shopping!! Yes, folks, I have not even started. Here we are, 13 days until Christmas, and I don’t have one person finished. I just started last week because my mom wanted to check out a local fair they were having while she visited here. I found a couple of nice gifts for Jaden’s teachers at his day care center, and maybe a couple of things for some family, but that’s about all I have done. This, unfortunately, is the usual story for me. I get caught up in the end of the semester and don’t start making my shopping list until after finals.

The more I think about it the more I realize that I’m basically caught up in a tornado from the start of the semester until the end of the semester, and I’m very thankful for those little “breaks” in between that allow me to do things like brush my teeth without simultaneously trying to remember if I already photocopied the handouts for class later the same day.

As for Jaden – he is doing TERRIFIC. He’s really come a long way in the last couple of months. He enjoys going to his ’school’ three days a week. Sometimes he does give me a hard time about leaving, but on other days he goes straight to Miss “coco” and happily waves to me while he says “bye-bye” in his hilariously cute, toddler-phase, word approximation style accent. He must know close to 100 American Sign Language (ASL) signs (I’ve lost count)— believe it or not. I stopped having to teach him new signs — he actually teaches us signs now! His ASL-fluent teacher at school signs as she talks, so he picks up signs up from her and then comes home assuming we’ll know what he’s ‘talking’ about when he repeats the sign. It took us weeks to figure out that he was signing train, and another for helicopter. He kept giving us an evil stare when we showed we obviously didn’t know what he was talking about – it was as if he was thinking “YOU taught ME this language, why are you feigning ignorance?!”

We’ve been working weekly with early intervention on Jaden’s verbal skills. He’s coming along – he has approximately 20 word approximations now. Things like mama, dada, papa (grandpa) and bye-bye are really clear now. Today he said water and I couldn’t believe how much better it sounds than it did just a week ago. I have a feeling he’s going to start rattling off words as he rattles off signs. The funny part is that the words he speaks are also signs he knows — he’ll sign at the same time he says the word, so I still think, although it has taken him a while to speak, the signing was a godsend. Without it I’m sure we’d be having (many more) temper tantrums out of frustration. He’s been able to communicate with us really well with the signing even though the words are coming more slowly.

Interestingly, the word approximations he started with are less likely to be word approximations a child born in the U.S. would start with — for example he learned the sound of g’s and k’s first, which are usually later in an English speaking child’s language development (according to the literature early intervention gave me). My theory is that because Jaden spent 9 months listening to Korean, his tongue was learning to form Korean language sounds, and those were the first sounds he started babbling. Although, now that he is learning more and more, his language development is starting to appear more closely related to an English speaking child’s language development.

I have to wonder how our little nephew who is expected on 12/24 will fare with language development. My brother and his wife are going to bring him up bilingual. My sister-in-law will only speak Portuguese in the house, and my brother will only speak English (at least that’s the last they mentioned to us) — so it’ll be interesting to watch their son develop from that perspective. We are all SO excited about the new addition to our family – and of course the grandparents are nearly bursting with joy. Two years ago it seemed they’d never have grandkids, and here we are, with my brother and his wife expecting the 2nd (grandchild).

As for us, we always wanted two children, but I’ve been dragging my feet about putting in another adoption application. It was such a long wait for Jaden, and such a stressful process with Vietnam closing and not knowing what was going to happen with our application, etc, etc… so I think that’s what has me procrastinating. I also can’t imagine how I’ll get all the paperwork and running around done now that I have a toddler at home. It was hard enough to do it while it was just me and Neville. Plus I worry about our ages. Oy. Maybe I just need to have faith, and go with the flow. So I should just fill out the darn paperwork and leave it in our Creator’s hands, right?

We took this picture on Thanksgiving day before heading to my in-laws:

Everything else Adoption, finals, grandkids, Korea, picture, rambling, school

Every once in a while the excitement just bubbles up inside me and makes me want to jump up and down yelling “We’re going to Seoul!!!!! We’re finally picking up our son!!!!!”

Last night Neville and I realized it was our last weekend as a ‘dual income no kids yet’ couple.  It was during one of those “overwhelming excitement” moments.  We’re moving on to a new phase in our lives – one we have waited and waited for – one that we’re so happy to be entering. It is almost hard to believe. Yet, here we are!

We confirmed our flights and started making our packing list. Yesterday I spent a few hours with Mom’s and Dad’s help decorating the nursery. It looks so adorable – I’ll post pictures soon. There’s a lot to get done this week – we have to pick up the loaner crib (our furniture is not in yet) and set up a makeshift changing table for the time being. I need to figure out how to operate a car seat and a jogging stroller. We are completely in the dark about what they are feeding Jaden right now – we’ll find that out when we visit the foster family’s home next week, so there’s really no planning for that at the moment. We don’t even have an update on how big he is so we’re guessing based on the last medical exam we have information for, which was in May. Our SW tells us that they “feed babies a lot in Korea” so since he’s about 8.5 months now, we should be prepared to put him in 12 month clothes! 

The baby shower could not have happened at a better time. We made a list of everything we need to get this week at BRU to be completely set up for bringing Jaden home – it is a short list. We realized that after thinking for so long that we were adopting from Vietnam (where the babies tend to be about 2 months younger but much smaller) that Jaden’s closet is full of clothes for 3-6 and 6-9 months. We received many shower gifts that were sizes 12 months and up – so that’ll help a lot – but we have to do some clothes shopping this week too (poor me – how I hate to shop for baby clothes -jk -LOL).

Our plan is to arrive in Seoul on Saturday, tour the city Saturday and Sunday, visit the foster home on Monday to meet the foster family and Jaden, tour the city on Monday afternoon and Tuesday, then meet the foster family on Wednesday to take Jaden back to the hotel with us. 

It turns out that Neville’s new associate at work is from Korea, and his family has asked to meet us while we’re there. I just found out last week that I have a colleague that is teaching there for the semester – he is also from Korea – and he has offered to meet us at the airport and show us around Seoul. It is uncanny how these things come together.

We were lucky enough to get the two bedroom unit at the agency’s guesthouse. It is quite a lot less expensive than a hotel in the same area – so we’ll have plenty of Korean won left to spoil Jaden with. LOL 

We are jumping up and down inside, and nervous at the same time. It’s the first time we’re taking a 14 hour flight, no less to pick up our first child! We’ll be flying back 14 hours with an infant – which would probably be a challenge for any first time parent. (Heck, flying 14 hours is going to be a challenge for me!)

I don’t have the details worked out yet as to whether or not we’ll have regular access to the internet, but I’ll try to keep posting while we’re there, and adding pictures to the blog. I realized last week that there is a way to do as slideshow directly in the blog- if I can figure out how to post one I’ll do that rather than add in the snapfish links. It might be easier on your end to just flip through a slideshow.

Thank you everyone for all your support and the wonderful, heartwarming comments and emails. It is so great to hear from all of you and to know that you are following us through this unbelievably exciting, life-changing journey.

About Jaden's Journey Adoption, Korea, Seoul, travel

I am slowly removing password protection from most of the posts on my blog. I figure there’s really no reason to password protect a blog in which I am not using our real names. It’s like wearing an invisibility cloak even though you’ve taken Polyjuice Potion. That’s just so “Hermione.” Those of you who have not read the Harry Potter Series, you have no idea what you’re missing. Yes, yes, I know – I am a fanatic. Our kids will probably hate HP because we love it so much.

In any case, it becomes cumbersome to password protect and use blog-names. Any posts with pictures or links to our pictures will remain password protected, otherwise not. I’m still a little paranoid about the pictures since I heard about another family who found their pictures splashed all over a website that was written completely in a foreign language, so they had no idea what the site was about. I am still not sure they ever learned the details. So for now, pictures will remain private. 

No, unfortunately we have no adoption news to report. I am getting antsy. We are well past the timeframe we thought we’d be dealing with, especially since the beginning of the process, after the referral, went so smoothly. I guess I should have been prepared for a delay because of Chuseok (Thanksgiving) in South Korea. I’m trying to convince myself that I should contact the agency to ask what’s up. Yet, I’m sure if they knew anything they’d let us know, so I don’t want to be a pest about it. I guess since I haven’t heard from them in weeks it would not be a bad thing to call. Maybe tomorrow.

Stay tuned… as soon as we do get the travel call you’ll be the first to know (after us and the immediate family, of course).

About Jaden's Journey Adoption, Chuseok, password protection, Pictures, South Korea

There is a terrific article at this link:

http://www.rainbowkids.com/ArticleDetails.aspx?id=602 

It is an article written by a Korean adoptee about her experience meeting birthmothers in Korea when she traveled there as an adult. Hopefully by the time you are reading this the link will still be active (you never know with these things…). The article at the above link was reprinted from Chicken Soup for the Adopted Soul, which I didn’t even know existed until now.

About Jaden's Journey adoptee, Adoption, article, chicken soup, Korea, soul

As of today we haven’t heard anything more than the last update I posted. I was hoping for some information this week but it didn’t happen. I am thankful that we are fortunate to at least know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel and we expect to be traveling within the next 2-4 weeks. That is a lot more than some of my friends can say, as they are still caught up in the difficulties being faced by the parents waiting to adopt from Vietnam. I think of them every day.

This weekend my parents held a gathering with a few cousins since it has been many years since we were all able to get together. I wasn’t able to make it to the last one (long story for another day) so it was really terrific to be able to be there and spend time with everyone. Some I hadn’t seen in ages. We had such a beautiful day and it was a lot of fun. All of my cousin’s little ones are so adorable. I don’t think I have laughed that much in ages. The things kids will say and do….

About Jaden's Journey Adoption, family reunion, kids, Korea, travel, Vietnam

Now it isn’t like I have nothing else to do, but once we started the process to adopt, I started to think more about the future – what is the world going to be like when our son grows up? Will global warming be irreversible? Are the climates going to change so drastically that everything about the way we live will need to adapt? Is the earth doomed before our children even get to college?  

So I’ve been thinking, what little things can we do to improve our environment for our children, and their children, and so on? There has to be any number of steps we can take that are simple, easy, and inexpensive. Any ideas? Here’s a few that I came up with:

Five simple things you can do to save the environment and improve the size of your wallet:

1. Save water: Turn the faucet off while you’re brushing your teeth. If your faucet delivers 2-4 gallons of water per minute, and you brush your teeth for the recommended 2 minutes at least 2 times each day that amounts to (2×2x2=) 8 gallons of water to (4×2x2=) 16 gallons of water down the drain. In only two minutes!
2. Save a tree: Use fabric napkins instead of paper napkins. We stopped using paper napkins a couple of months ago, and I don’t miss it. Actually, I prefer it this way. I never have to turn to paper towels because I’ve run out of napkins. We have a dozen really inexpensive fabric napkins for ourselves, and then another bunch (of nicer ones) that we use for company. We just throw the napkins in with the towels when we do laundry. Easy as pie. Not only is it good for the environment, but it saves on the grocery bill too.
3. Save a tree: Cut back on paper towel use. Take all those old cotton t-shirts, sheets, and anything else lying around that isn’t needed anymore and cut them into conveniently sized rags. Leave a stack of them in the kitchen and each bathroom. When there’s a spill, sop it up with a rag and throw the rag in the laundry with the towels. On the rare occasion there’s a really gross mess to deal with, you can use the crummiest of the rags to clean it up and then toss it when you’re done. Now you can get rid of that annoying paper towel holder that just takes up space on the countertop.
4. Reduce energy consumption: Only do full loads of laundry. This will be easier now that you have all those rags to wash. One full load of laundry uses less energy than two smaller loads of laundry.
5: Reduce energy consumption: Unplug appliances, computers, and TV’s when not in use. According to The Green Book this accounts for 10 percent of energy use in the home. 10 percent!! Compute approximately one-tenth of your monthly utility bill and that’s what it is costing you to have these things plugged in. The easiest way to accomplish task when you have a number of electronics in one general area (DVD, TV, VCR, etc.) is to put them all on a master switch (a wall switch or one of those power strips) so you only have to hit one button to turn everything off. Remember to unplug the toaster oven and coffee pot when they are not in use. Your utility bill will thank you. 

Anything we can do, no matter how small, will start to turn things in the right direction in the aggregate. The more people that choose to do one more thing to help, the greater the overall effect will be. 

I’m sure there’s many more ideas out there. Any suggestions? Feel free to comment!

About Jaden's Journey Adoption, climate, college, environment, future, global warming, green living

After the insane day I had yesterday running around to all of my engagements, it has finally hit me that we were approved by CIS!!! I think I was in a daze yesterday – the email was so unexpected. In the adoption process, this is truly a significant milestone. CIS is usually the biggest holdup, according to the adoption community circles I’ve run with, in the entire process. Having them process our paperwork in less than two weeks is utterly amazing. I have watched as waiting parents have sat on the edge of their seats for 30, 60, sometimes 90 days, biting their nails, waiting for the OK from the US to travel to pick up their baby. We are so blessed to have this portion of the process go off so quickly. CIS has just given us the gift of two more weeks with Jaden during his infant months. This is tremendous. 

I did hear back from agency #2 and they are jumping up and down for us too! They are sending us a packet of materials covering travel details, and we have to give a call to another representative (let’s be original and call her rep #2) to discuss travel plans. Here is part of their response, outlining the next steps: 

“From this point, we generally receive travel notice about 4 to 6 weeks. The notice will come in the form of “[Jaden] is ready to travel at any time” – at which point you will arrange to travel to Korea on the first Friday that you are able – it’s definitely a whirlwind!”

Whirlwind – no kidding! The way I’m thinking about it, if we are really, really fortunate, the process in Korea will go as quickly as it did here in the US, and we could potentially travel in 2 weeks! I guess that is my optimism carrying it a little too far… but it is fun to imagine!! I guess I really, really do need to get the nursery together now! So much to do and so little time!

About Jaden's Journey adopt, Adoption, approval, blessed, Korea, nursery, time, travel