Motherhood…and more

So here I am on campus giving an exam and there’s really not much for me to do, except answer odd questions, so I actually have time to write.  Usually when I give an exam I bring a ton of work with me, my laptop, and anything else I need to get done in a quiet environment – but not this time – I didn’t even remember to eat dinner before I left the house, and I’m lucky I remembered to use the ladies room before class.

I guess this is all just a part of motherhood. My brain is fried – or at least it is 200% focused on someone else’s life now (that would be Jaden). Now I know why kids always think their parents are clueless – somehow after we picked up Jaden I lost my ability to ‘plan ahead’ (well – at least the little ability I had before he arrived). I am so focused on when Jaden naps, and how long he naps, and what he eats, and when he eats, and how much he eats, and when to bathe him, and…, and…, and…. of course I could go on, as anyone who has had a little one knows, I’m sure.

I never expected motherhood to be this brain-consuming. I thought I’d provide love, support, and nurturing – and viola – the perfect child. Ha ha. Okay so I didn’t think it would be THAT easy, but I didn’t expect to lose all of my brain cells as soon as I gave him his first bottle….

More about Jaden: Things are going relatively well. Things will actually be even better now that my very understanding boss has agreed to let me go on a reduced schedule until the end of the year. That is going to make a HUGE difference in our ability to bond, and gives us more time to introduce Jaden to all of the “strangers” he now has in his life. With any luck, by the time next semester rolls around, there will be no issue leaving him with a friend or other relative for a few hours twice a week while I go to work. Right now, however, that is not possible. Whenever Jaden meets anyone new, he furrows his brow, keeps his eye on the person, and decides if, when, and how he wants to be approached. If the person comes too close too soon, we have an outburst. This is to be expected – everything here is new to him, including his forever family. It will take time. This is also the time in a baby’s life in which he becomes wary of strangers – a very good thing for his protection.  On the other hand, it can make it difficult for extended family members who are having a hard time getting close.

Speaking of Jaden’s decisions: he knows what he wants and when he wants it, and he is very vocal about letting you know. It is kind of comical to watch. You can see “the look” on his face whenever he decides he wants something (or doesn’t want something), and if you figure out what it is quickly, he’ll give you a big smile. If it takes you a little while he starts to whine. If you still don’t figure it out then he stiffens up his entire body and puts an angry look on his face while he clenches his fists. After that he verbalizes in a direct and loud tone– which is not really yelling (usually), but it sounds like if he knew how to speak he’d be telling you off for not figuring out what he wants. Of course we all find this extremely charming. Maybe it’s because we love him so much. That, and that he’s just way too adorable.